If you are working in a place where there is plenty of booze, seeing inebriated people doing insane things is a regular occurrence. It is easy to think that you’ve seen them all and nothing will shock you anymore.
That is why the Reddit user “Adexiss” is curious to know what is the weirdest thing bartenders or anyone who worked in a bar ever experienced while they were on duty.
Below are 15 moments that were so crazy it was etched in the minds of these netizens.
1. “Okay boys circle up!”
It was a Tuesday night and we were closing at midnight. A group of about six gentlemen came to my bar, seemingly intoxicated but overall pretty friendly. Small talk revealed they are mostly from the Portland area and are here (undisclosed location near the Philadelphia area) for their best friend’s wedding (tomorrow).
The one guy asks for a shot of the most expensive tequila we have. That is Clase Azul Anejo at $150 a shot. He says “I’ll take it.” So I run downstairs (this occurred on a rooftop bar) grab the bottle and all the fancy stuff to go with it, perform my lil’ presentation in front of him, and he grabs the snifter filled with $150 worth of our best tequila and says “Okay boys circle up!”
Without missing a beat as if it were choreographed, the six guys get in a circle and start flapping their arms (positioned like chicken wings from the chicken dance), crouch down, and start chirping like baby birds. Guy #1 then takes the shot and spits it into guy #2’s mouth, guy #2 into guy #3’s mouth, and so on until it reaches guy #6 who receives and swallows the now certainly warm and slimy shot like a champ.
Found out afterward they were all in shrooms but the coolest sht I’ve ever seen. Woulda comp’ed the shot if I had the power. Hope those boys are doing well. – ps6419
2. The one guy that would dance in such strange ways
Oh man, this brings back memories from my days bartending. Thanks for sharing.
So we had this one guy that would dance in such strange ways right at the front of our very stage. He would flop down on the ground, face-up, and then gyrate his hips up into the air over and over and over. (It’s an exercise move I think, maybe the bridge?) Supposedly was a professor at the local university. A really tiny guy with a thick, unknown accent, ambiguous ethnicity, and crazy curly hair.
One night I was off work and went to a show at another local bar, and there he was dancing. I was in the cups and said to myself, fck it. Went up to dance with him (I’m a chick, for reference), and since he’s so bizarre, and I was dancing stupidly too, we soon had a small dance circle around us. I knew it was coming, and sure enough, he flopped to the ground and started his signature gyrating hip move. I maneuvered around and started dropping my ass onto his face. You know the move. He tried to get up, but I just kept jumping up and then dropping down on his face again. People were going wild, lol. He loved it. Easily one of the top ten moments of my life. – crunchytacodumpster
3. Gordon Ramsay walked in.
Gordon Ramsay walked in, ordered a 1/2 sized margarita, and told me it was perfect after he finished it. He was a gentleman and even bowed and said thank you on the way out. I later learned they were filming an episode of Kitchen Nightmares around the corner and he knew the chef who owned the restaurant where I was bartending. He came in the next night too.
I had a convo with fcking Gordon Ramsay two days in a row. – Phillip0liverHoles
4. “But it was funny right?”
This happened on my first Friday night. There were two French women in their mid to late twenties having a good night, very chatty to the staff even though it was busy but quite nice and refreshing for a busy night. This one large sweaty guy makes his way to the bar and orders a drink while standing between these two women. As he overhears their accent he asks “Are you two french?” The ladies reply politely and continue talking between them. This guy pulls down his pants all the way to his ankles and says “In that case welcome to Scotland baby” while making solid eye contact with me looking for approval.
At this point, one of the girls grabs the guy’s dck and balls and starts pulling him out of the pub like he’s a disobedient dog and the pure look of regret and embarrassment on the guy’s face was priceless. She was really pulling with all her force and the guy was just trying to stay in one piece.
The other girl finished her drinks tipped us all very well, thanked us for a great night, and swiftly left. As she opened the door I heard a faint yell of “But it was funny right?” – RoryC1999
5. “No, it’s ok.”
Crackhead bursting in with a chainsaw sure woke me up on the graveyard shift.
That or the couple who’d been hitting it off at the bar did a shot and the girl suddenly threw up in her hands. The guy didn’t miss a beat, just assured her “No it’s ok” and sensually licked her fingers clean.
Edit: forgot about the birthday group that all came in with DIY muppet-style puppets who insisted on ordering their drinks through them, and then proceeded to “tip” with tiny muppet dollars. That was a fun one that didn’t last long.
Edit again: I also forgot the yacked-out wedding party where the last one standing was a mid-twenties lady who decided to start throwing racial slurs around casually, tried to fight everyone when that went poorly, and then bit a staff member. When the cops came to scoop her up, after fighting with them, she vomited in the back of the cruiser, slurped it up, and spat it at the windows. She didn’t make her flight home the next day.
I’ve seen some sht, y’all. – Aidian
6. I was a bartender in NZ a few years back.
I was a bartender in NZ a few years back, and some dude attending a work function lit his own face on fire with a flaming shot. He lit it, then shot it, but poured a bunch of it on his face at the same time. Afterward, he didn’t want to go to the hospital, he wanted to keep partying, so I got him some burnt cream from the kitchen. Every time he came back to the bar after that, the blisters forming on his face were bigger, juicier, and nastier.
That story trumps another time when I came across a dude getting a bj in the corner of the balcony while I was packing up after we’d closed (I let them finish). – Rosserman
7. I caught a guy jerking off in the dart room one slow Tuesday night.
I caught a guy jerking off in the dart room one slow Tuesday night. It was the last call and I was moving the floor mats to mop behind the bar when I saw him, with his back to me making a “jerk off” motion in the dart room. I assumed he was making a gesture at someone like a joke or something so I ignored it. Until I walk by again and he’d still do it. I walk up and there he is hog out, totally hard jerking off staring at the two couples of kids finishing their dart game. “WHAT THE FCK DUDE” was all I could think to say, he tried to hide his dick and replied, “I’m on a bunch of mollies I’m sorry I’m waiting for my girlfriend.” I just threw my hands up and said “You have 5 seconds to get the fck out of this bar.” I don’t wanna bounce a dude with a boner. He ran away. I walked up to the two couples and said “Why didn’t you tell me he was doing that?” They said they felt that he was being weird but didn’t look over cause he was making them uncomfortable. Unreal, I tell the story to everyone and after describing his appearance multiple people confirmed that he has done this at other places AND GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT!
Fast forward a couple of years and I’m working at a different bar. A customer is like “Hey dude, some guy is in here with a boner.” I look around the room and there he is jerk-off guy, with a boner, again. I just scream across the bar “GET THE FCK OUTTA HERE JERK OFF GUY” and he ran out.
Bar patrons, if someone is making you uncomfortable… or jerking off in the bar please alert the staff.
Edit: People are saying I should’ve called the cops. Okay, he’s obviously a criminal and this behavior needs to be stopped. In my defense the first time I was in shock, and the second time I’m behind a bar across the room, I never really got a chance. You never know how you’ll react to an unsolicited hard cock until you’re confronted by one. I’m not chasing the jerk-off guy down the street. And if the cops won’t show up for brawls, people threatening coworkers, or wrestling knives out of homeless guys’ hands they probably won’t show up for jerk-off guys. – Skarpator
8. It was the wildest thing that’s ever happened to me at work.
Not a bartender but work at a place with a bar. This husband and wife sat at the bar when another man came in and demanded the woman get up and move. The husband defended his wife and said they got there first and there were other open chairs at the bar the stranger could sit at. The man proceeded to verbally threaten the couple’s lives before pulling out a gun.
My manager called the cops and informed the man that the cops would be there in less than a minute because they patrolled the shopping center constantly. So the man ran out the front door and tried to escape on foot but police saw a man running with a gun in his hands out in public away from a restaurant where a man hand just pulled a gun on someone and arrested him.
My manager had to go with the police to the police station to identify the man and give a statement it was the wildest thing that’s ever happened to me at work. – Penguinempress17
9. Former bouncer here.
Former bouncer here. This kid was dead set on getting into the club one night. Clearly underaged, I turned him away when his fake ID didn’t work. An hour later, he walks up with a box of Christmas decorations, saying he was so sorry for being late with the decorations (it was August). I turned him away again.
An hour or so later, a foot crashes through the ceiling. The kid climbed onto the roof looking for a way inside. My boss jabbed at him with a mop and he retreated. The kid ran off but he left a shoe behind. – rasslinsmurf
10. “No seriously, I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the bigfoot.”
Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m so late. Backstory: I am from backwoods Mississippi and was working in the city closest to my hometown at the time. Lots of forest areas that are super isolated.
I was bartending. Alone. Sunday morning at a brewery. I had one ornery regular that had come in, one random lady who wore headphones and had her back to me.
This dude rolls from his SUV, illegally parked, wearing a plaid button-up that had sleeves that were both different colors from the body. And on each shoulder… two huge bigfoot emblems. I told the man I liked his shirt because it was a cool shirt. He said, “I’ve seen it.”
Because I have a goofy old man for a dad, I laughed. And he said, “No seriously, I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the bigfoot.” The regular choked on his drink. This man proceeds to tell me all about the bigfoot he’s seen. For like half an hour. It’s near my parents’ home, actually right near where my brother is buried, apparently. I ask him about what parts he saw specifically, he has no details. Just assured me that his friend showed him, and also that he’d seen little ones, as well. No more than three feet tall. Then he said he had more shirts to show me and went and got them from his car. This is where the regular chugged the rest of his beer, said, “Sorry kid, I can’t deal with him,” and left me there.
He comes back in and tells me all about his plans. In the back of his SUV, some weird contraption. You could only see it when he opened the door. Turns out, it was A BIGFOOT CAGE. His plan and I swear to God this was verbatim, was to “Catch it, and then call all the news stations and journalists and bloggers and media. Let them get their pictures and stories and videos. And then… and then let him go. Because he doesn’t belong in a cage.”
And then he asked me if he could buy concert tickets (we were not a concert venue) and left without purchasing anything at all.
I was so sad that no one had experienced it with me until the girl from the table turned around and was like, “I unplugged my headphones as soon as he walked in and listened to all of that and “Oh my God.” – welliwasemily
11. This happened a few months ago at a college bar.
This happened a few months ago at a college bar. We were just opening and we’re still pretty empty when a guy in his mid-30s walked the exit door without a mask (Covid regulations mandated one door for entry and another for exit only). Our biggest and most direct bouncer immediately came up to the guy and told him he needed to go around and use the other door to come in and to put a mask on.
The guy starts arguing saying there were no signs about the rules blah blah blah. Eventually, the guy starts postering strangely like he had a gun hidden in his waistband or something and wouldn’t back down from our bouncer that was at least twice his size which was putting me on alert a little. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to grab back up to kick this dude out so I grabbed another bouncer and they got rid of the guy.
All normal after that for the next few minutes until 15 minutes later I hear a loud bang outback. The guy apparently rolled up to the original bouncer in his pick-up, rolled down the window, and told the bouncer he had something for him then raised a shotgun and fired. Luckily the bouncer wasn’t hit but we closed for the night after that.
It was the weirdest thing I’ve seen in the sense of how little someone was willing to kill over. Literally using a different door and putting on a mask was enough to potentially ruin his life and end another.
TL;DR: our bouncer asked a guy to put on a mask and use the entrance-only door. Guy didn’t like that and came back and shot at the bouncer. – Big_Red_Bandit
12. I worked at an independently owned Italian restaurant.
I worked at an independently owned Italian restaurant. The owners were two Italians, so they had instant credibility with customers. They came up with a sausage and peppers appetizer that came out sizzling hot on a skillet, like fajitas. We had a squirt bottle of 151 Rum by the bar they would use to light it on the fire tableside for the show. The first time they rolled it out it was early, so not a lot of customers in the restaurant. I watch the owner squirt the 151 on the hot skillet and see this vapor cloud go up and I realize what’s about to happen. He lights the skillet and poof! Alcohol vapor catches fire.
He was lucky no one got burned and he didn’t set off the fire system. So many crazy stories from that place! – mixxastr
13. Off the top of my head, there’s a time when this guy comes in looking sketchy.
Off the top of my head, there’s a time when this guy comes in looking sketchy as fck about 15 mins too close. I could tell he was on something, but no alcohol. He ordered a soda and sat down saying he was waiting for a ride. I go back into the kitchen to clean up and I can hear him speaking a little. The words “killed” and “r*pe” stood out, so I went back out to make sure everything was ok. He was telling a story about how he did time for r*ping and killing some woman a while back.
The other customers at the bar were clearly uncomfortable, and I was getting freaked out now so I politely asked him to wait outside for his ride and locked the door. He left without protest. Maybe a couple of minutes later I noticed he left his jacket on the stool, and he knocked on the door pointing to the jacket. When I pick it up, it’s REALLY heavy on one side. Look in and see a gun in the pocket! I motioned him over to the other exit door and slipped my hand out just enough for him to grab the coat and closed the door. Not sure if he was planning on using it, but we were all pretty freaked out. – Jazzman14
14. I was working in the bar of a sushi restaurant.
I was working the bar of a sushi restaurant that was pretty slow that night and a guy in a full clown outfit walked in; white makeup, wig, red nose, and big shoes. He strolled up to the bar, sat down, took off his wig, and ordered some food and a drink like nothing was amiss.
Apparently, he was part of a bachelor party and while they all wanted to eat at a steak house the clown was like “fck that, we’re close to the water, I want sushi.” He ended up staying for a while, I probably should have cut him off at one point but he was so funny the whole staff was having a great time talking to him. – Jedisolid
15. I don’t mind eating leftovers.
There’s this regular in his early to mid-’80s who’s been coming to my bar since it opened in the late 1970s. He often comes in by himself for a dirty martini, reads the newspaper, and is always very pleasant. One Valentine’s Day, he walks into the bar in an all-red suit and hat, a white button-up, a tie with hearts on it, and his New Balance white sneakers. Under each arm he had an 80+yo lady, one also dressed in an all-red gown, and the other in all white. Needless to say, we were all very surprised to see this nursing homecoming on Valentine’s.
My regular sits his ladies down in a booth and walks over to the bar to order drinks for him and his ladies. While waiting for his drinks, he looked over at my guests at the bar top who just finished their 3lbs lobster dinner, and my regular noticed they left some meat in the lobster shell. He proceeds to ask for their leftovers. They give him the rest of their lobster. I gave my regular an odd look, and he came over to tell me: “If you knew how much p*ssy I eat, you’d know I don’t mind eating leftovers.”
Immediately I wanted to start throwing up. – DwightsBobblehead
What is the weirdest one for you? Share your thoughts below.